Counselling: Why we all need it!

Our daily lives are influenced by so many stresses and distractions:  Things we need to do, things we need to buy, places we need to go and people we have to see.  Even if we do nothing else other than get up each day, there is still a lot to cope with in life.   

On the surface most of us appear to have it all under control, but just take a look at the number of empty wine and beer bottles in recycling boxes outside houses; the constant desire people have for new things like cars and clothes and mobiles.  Look at the way people soak up the lives of celebrities and the way they spend their whole evening scouring the internet for information. 

People everywhere seem to be searching.  Searching online; searching in the shops; searching in magazines and on the TV.  But what is it that we are all so desperately looking for?  What is it that is so important that leads us to sacrificing time with the people closest to us so that we can focus our energy on all of these other things?

Humans are always striving for improvement and growth.  Our daily lives have been transformed by new and better ways of doing things.    We upgrade our old and used items for new and improved ones.   When something breaks we get it fixed or we throw it away and get a new one.  It’s simple.

But what happens when we develop a fault?  What happens when something isn’t working in us?  If it’s a physical problem then we’ll probably go to see a doctor.  But if it’s an emotional problem or problem in our heads then what do we do?  It can be a scary thing to deal with, so most of us will push it away.   We haven’t got time to look at it anyway, so if we don’t think about it then hopefully it will disappear.

Ignorance is a great thing…for so long.  If the car doesn’t sound right when you start it up in the morning then you will probably wait to see if it improves.  If it doesn’t then you will seek to get it fixed.  Most of us, unfortunately, are not that quick to respond when our emotions don’t feel right.  We do not jump up and say ‘I need to get this fixed.’  More likely we think ‘I’ll try not to think too much about that.  I’m sure it’ll get better.’

So why are we so reluctant to lift up the bonnet on ourselves and get things repaired?  Well there are a few reasons: ‘I don’t feel comfortable with it’, ‘I don’t know half of what’s in there’, ‘Do I really want to know?’, ‘It’ll probably hurt anyway.’  These are many of the things that deter us from taking a look at our lives, but if we never do this then how can we ever hope to improve it?  What would we think, for instance, of the mechanic who refused to take a look at the engine?

I have found that most of us go through our lives needing to talk about things, but most of the time, choose not to.  Sometimes this works and we are able to lead a normal functioning life.  But every so often it creeps up and grows in front of our very eyes until it overshadows us and puts up a brick wall so big that we have nowhere to hide and nowhere to run.  That’s when we have no choice but to look at it.  That is a scary place to be and usually a lonely one.

‘Counselling’ is a word that many people don’t like using in relation to themselves; much like the words ‘Help’ and ‘I’m struggling right now.’  We live in an age where there is no time for weakness and no time for personal difficulty.  Society asks you to deal with it yourself or get on with it alone because it has not got the time to stop or listen.  Progress is only achievable it seems, by pushing harder, working longer and moving faster.  That’s great…But what about me?  Who will be there when I really need them?  Who can I turn to when everything is weighing me down and I can’t meet the demands of this society?  What happens when I just need to be me?

Talking to a Counsellor can be the first step in answering these questions and to enable you to look at the things that are holding you back.  People have needed to talk about themselves since the beginning of time, but our culture now limits this talk to the not-too-personal.  With a Personal Counsellor you are given the time to explore the most pressing things in your life and to receive the guidance you need to help make sense of them all. 

Sometimes, just putting words to the stuff that is going on in our heads can be all that is needed to start to take control of it.  It can take time and courage to do this, but with the right help, it can prove to be a decision that will enable you to stop searching and start living.